Sharing
by ksfd89
Summary: Oneshot about a spontaneous afternoon between Rory and Jess! Rated M for nature


**Oneshot about a spontaneous afternoon between Rory and Jess! Rated M for nature.**

Sharing her body is easy. Sharing her mind is not. Rory's hair tickles her shoulder as Jess pushes over it, sighing slightly. She closes her eyes. How are they here? One moment it's a coldy rainy day and they're in the same coffee shop, the next, he's in her apartment and they're having sex. It's too easy.

Jess's hand grazes her thigh and Rory shivers, feeling herself come. Jess continues to move inside her and then, with a grunt, comes as well. He rests on her chest and for a moment they lie there. Jess's breath tickles Rory's throat and she smiles.

"Well," he says eventually. She looks up and his eyes are serious.

"Yeah," she says. She doesn't know what to say. Jess slides out of her and wordlessly turns to go to the bathroom, depositing the condom. _At least I was safe,_ Rory thinks defensively, as though her mother's criticism were already there, and blushes.

Jess returns and Rory modestly averts her gaze, though it's a little late for that. She shifts over, giving Jess room to get in bed beside her, and he pulls the covers over them.

"Huh," he says, making Rory laugh out loud, and he looks at her. "What?"

"We had sex and all you can say is _huh_?"

"What should I say?"

He's got her there. It's not like in novels. They're not going to stare into each other's eyes and swear undying love to each other. Rory doesn't love him and she's pretty sure he doesn't love her. They did love each other, but that was a long time ago, a lifetime ago, and more than a decade has passed. She doesn't know what he should say.

"I didn't mean it was bad," Jess says, switching Rory out of her reverie. "I meant - I didn't mean anything. Not it that didn't mean anything. I -"

"I got it," Rory says, cutting him off. It sounds a little abrasive so she adds, "It's okay."

"Okay. Good."

They fall into a silence which makes Rory glad. She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know why she did this. She was in the coffee shop, with a brand new book to read, and then heard her name and looked up. There was Jess, his hair dripping from the rain and they both exclaimed _what are you doing here?_ at the same time. She's just moved to New York, he's here for the day, and, like her, has a new book under his arm. _What's the point of visiting somewhere without finding a decent bookstore?_ A question with which Rory wholeheartedly agrees. And then they exchanged books, tossed out impressions and he sat with her to have a coffee. History from the past ten years came tumbling out - travelling around, struggling to get articles, missing Mom, Grandpa dying - Rory could barely get that out - and then Jess was moving closer, saying he heard about that and he was sorry. That it sucked. And that made Rory laugh, of all things, because everyone else just said they were sorry. No one said it sucked, and it does. Everyone just tells her it'll stop hurting. Rory doesn't want it to. She just wants her grandfather back.

And then it was Jess's turn to talk, and he told her things she'd heard brokenly through Luke; how the Truncheon was doing, how it had almost closed in the recession, how he always felt weird about going back to Stars Hollow, or even going back to New York.

 _I was such an angry kid_ , he said, almost shyly. _I hated it there_.

Rory knew, but felt the need to contradict anyway. _You didn't hate it all the time_ , she said, and then felt embarrassed at the obvious lie. _I didn't hate you being there_ , she offered. _I missed you when you left_.

She'd trodden on dangerous ground and they both knew, he coughed and said it didn't suck all the time. He'd asked to go back to Stars Hollow, after all. The video store was its saving grace, he joked.

Rory said he was making her feel old, remembering the video store, and they both laughed. And his hand brushed hers and when he took it away, apologising, Rory wanted to grab it back. There it was - that old, almost forgotten urge with him - and she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to walk down the street and kiss him like they were eighteen.

Rory shook it away. She's thirty-two, for god's sake. She's grown out of that kind of lust. But when they left the coffeeshop and it was still raining, even heavier than before, Rory asked Jess if he wanted to come see her apartment and he said yes. And she took him here, offered some coffee for the sake of pretence and then they were kissing, _oh god_ , and it was more than kissing and suddenly they were naked in her bed and he was asking _do you have?_ and she whispered _in that drawer_ and they were having sex. The rain hammered on the window and Rory was having sex with Jess, in the middle of the afternoon, and now he's sitting in her bed. What was she _thinking_? What are they _doing_? She didn't think, is the answer to that. But it didn't feel wrong. It felt urgent, like they couldn't get close enough, and they didn't need to talk. And now they can't talk and Rory looks over. Her arms rests on his and she enjoys the warmth.

"I missed you," he says, and she smiles.

"I missed you too."

There's still a pulsing between her legs. Rory remembers being eighteen, imagining their having sex, and losing her virginity. It would be wonderful, she thought. And then when she did, with Dean, it wasn't wonderful at all. It was awkward and sore and lasted about ten minutes and Rory wished it had been better. She thinks, somewhat unromantically, it probably wouldn't have felt much better with Jess. Apart from him being unmarried. She's glad they waited for each other, and then starts at the thought. Waited for what?

"You okay?" Jess asks and she nods. He hesitates and checks, "Is this okay?" and Rory smiles.

"It's weird, but it's okay."

"Rory, I -" Jess stops but doesn't break his glance as he continues, "I didn't plan on this when I saw you."

"Me either."

"I was just happy to see you."

"And me you."

She looks in his eyes and they start laughing. They laugh and laugh uncontrollably and yet Rory feels a small reach of regret. They were always out of time. They were together, but too young for it work. They were right, but she was with Logan. They've had sex, but it's been years. They don't even know each other now. But as she laughs with Jess, looks in his warm, brown eyes, an insistent part of Rory says they're not strangers to each other. It never feels like a long time ago with Jess. Rory looks down and Jess takes her hand.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Rory says, licking her dry lips. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Nothing. I don't know."

Jess is silent and Rory is frustrated. She loathes this in her, this inability to voice what's wrong, and yet she doesn't know what's wrong. It should feel wrong and it doesn't. Maybe that's what's bothering her. It feels too heavy to say out loud.

"Are you sorry we slept together?" Jess asks and Rory looks back up.

"No. It's weird, but no."

"Weird in a bad way?"

"No. It's just...weird," Rory finishes. It sounds too small but Jess smiles, and she thinks he understands.

"What time do you have to go?" Rory asks and Jess lets out a bark of laughter.

"Kicking me out?"

"No! I just know you have to get back tonight, and I don't want to make you late for whatever it is you have to do, if you have something to do, or..."

Her voice trails off and Jess smiles, picking up the clock beside him.

"It's four. And I don't have to be anywhere. There's an event at the Truncheon tonight, but it's covered. I didn't know how long I'd be in New York."

"Oh. Well, that's good."

"Do you want me to go?" Jess asks directly and Rory automatically says,

"No. That's not what I meant."

He looks at her and Rory feels like she's lying. She doesn't want him to go, but it feels strange, suddenly, and she needs to think. She needs to think about what's happened and she can't with Jess there, but she's worried that it'll sound harsh.

"You want to be alone," Jess says. It's not accusatory, or angry, but Rory feels a little rude.

"I don't mean I need you to go."

"But you want to be alone. I get it."

Jess leans over the bed, reaching for his pants, and grabs a a piece of paper from the pocket and pen from Rory's beside table. He scribbles something down and hands it over.

"That's my cellphone number," he says. "So we don't wait ten years before accidentally seeing each other."

Rory laughs but it's rueful. They could have easily found a way to see each other but she felt shy and avoided him, and assumes Jess felt the same. She takes the paper and thanks him and Jess starts to dress. When he goes to the bathroom Rory tugs her own clothes on and goes with Jess to the door when he's ready.

"See you, Rory," he says with a smile. He stops, as though asking permission, and Rory leans over and kisses his cheek.

"See you, Jess."

He gives her a wave, walks out and Rory goes to the window. She watches him leave, slip around the corner and closes her eyes. The paper is warm in her hand and she's not sorry. _It is what it is_ , she thinks. Her and Jess, always on the wrong side of time. She wonders if they'll ever be aligned.


End file.
